I'm swamped, but it's the best thing for me. I lose focus if my time is not occupied. It's been quite a lonely start to the semester actually. There have been some exciting parts like the football team bringing home a national championship and having friends over every now and again, but I go hiking by myself because nobody wants to go with me, I work out by myself because nobody wants to go with me, and I eat by myself most of the time because nobody's schedule matches up with mine.
I just don't relate all that well to a lot of the kids going to school here. Everyone is still out partying and getting trashed, and everyone just seems to not give a rip about a lot of really important shit! A lot of days I find myself wondering when my generation will grow the hell up and stop acting like children as soon as they get off campus. What have I been up to on Friday nights and in my free time you might ask? Filling out internship applications for the summer while my "friends" party the night away.
And it's that time of the year again. All the couples are a constant reminder that I have nobody by my side. I've been on several dates since my last post, and all of them have ended unsuccessfully. The girls all like me and want to continue going on dates, but none of them have brought anything but clingyness to the table. I'm not going to date just for the sake of wanting to have a girlfriend. I'm going to date because I have found a girl that I genuinely want to be a part of my life
Maybe my standards are high. I deserve someone who has their life together like me. I'm done dating project girls. They are a headache and I've never found them to be worth the time and effort I have put into them.
I got a tinder account too. That lasted all of a couple months. Some interesting things there. Bread-crumbing, ghosting, girls asking for adderall...You know, the classy stuff. I deleted that account because it became clear that I'm a misfit there.
Everyone keeps telling me to try dating the younglife girls. I went to a hot chocolate party that a friend of mine hosted and it was almost exclusively all younglife kids. They are a nice crowd from what I have seen, but I always feel like I'm not welcome there because the focus is religion and I am not a religious person at all. It's not that they haven't made me feel welcome, it's that I just feel weird. I feel judged by that crowd of people because I haven't stepped foot inside of a church in over 12 years. They have also made their friend groups, and there isn't any getting into those without being seen as the new guy who's trying to fit in. That ship has sailed, you could say.
And then there are the sorority girls that I have real heartburn even going on one date with. Most are spoiled, rotten, rich girls from screwed up families in New Jersey and I just can't. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but most decent guys will agree with me that a lot of those girls aren't girlfriend or even friend material. Most leave nothing to the imagination, and a lot of them (I have found) are rude. They all have straightened hair, drive jeeps, wear white converses and chokers, and plaster their faces with makeup. Yuck.
With all that being said, I have a date with a sorority girl this weekend.(LOL) I have told a couple of my friends about it, and they asked me if I was excited. I told them that I wasn't getting my hopes up at all, because I know that it most likely won't go anywhere. Either she will want to keep me around for sex like other girls have done with me, or she will be a stage 17 clinger. If neither of those things go down, I won't look enough like Channing Tatum and she will ghost me if she does by some miracle capture my interest.
Dating for serious millennials is like driving flaming toothpicks underneath fingernails. It's a horrible scene for any decent human being. Someday peeps, someday. That's what I keep telling myself.
Until the next post, do you, stay true, and be you. That's what's most important anyway at the end of the day! :)